New Analog Medium Skeleton Shirts

Max Capacity started fucking with vector graphics and now we have new Analog Medium skeleton shirts in the Analog Medium Shop. The skeleton image comes from a sticker design Max reappropriated from old Soviet propaganda. We ordered up a few different shirts. There's also a cool new robofight logo with a new Atari robot. Besides that, we've got Skeleton Crew sweatshirts, and AM Posse's on Broadway throwback crew sweatshirts. We just put in a big order for ourselves and we should have some pictures of the shirts on humans soon.

Dragon's Lair (NES 1990) Game Genie Codes

Submitted by One-Night Stan



I could never beat the first screen of Dragon's Lair. That damn moat monster always got me. So I would never even dream of beating the game. I couldn't even hope to see the second level. But all that will (hopefully) change now thanks to these codes. I haven't even tried them out yet, so I can't vouch for their credibility. But I am very interested in the one called "Protection." And with the level select codes, I'll be able to finally see the second level.

AAXITVNY - Infinite lives
NNXSGSUY - Start with 1 extra life
KNXSGSUN - Start with 6 extra lives
NNXSGSUN - Start with 9 extra lives
PEUIGIAA - Start with axe
ZEUIGIAA - Start with fireball
PANSZIAA - Start on level 2
ZANSZIAA - Start on level 3
LANSZIAA - Start on level 4
IAVNPYAP - Less energy gained on pick-up
YZVNPYAP - More energy gained on pick-up
AEXSGEKY - Protection
SXKYUOVK + SXVYXOVK - Infinite candle energy

Sources: GameGenie.com, Wikipedia

The Zombie Diaries (2007) Review

Review by Jaime



I had not intended to actually get this particular movie during my last DVD purchasing outing. What I had actually been looking for was a little indie horror film called “Splinter”, but Best Buy had that for 25 bucks and this movie, “The Zombie Diaries”, for 15 bucks. In this economy, you can see why I went with the cheaper of the two options. But, was the movie worth it?

The second reason I picked up “The Zombie Diaries” (TZD from now on) was some of the rather hyperbolic praise that Dimension Extreme, the company releasing this movie, decided to put on the DVD box itself. It’s got quotes like “The Best Zombie Film Ever Made” from somewhere called The Dark Side. Also included in this high praise is: “the most realistic zombie film ever made” from twitchfilm.net and “dark, uncompromising and frighteningly real” courtesy of eatmybrains.com. Certainly, eatmybrains.com couldn’t steer me wrong.

But they did. TZD is by no means a great movie. It certainly isn’t the best zombie film I’ve ever laid eyes on. It’s borderline decent actually. The style of the film helps it out a lot. It’s shot in the documentary/hand-held style that has become rather popular with this subgenre of horror movies. Thank God for that because some of the gore effects needed a little work, and they benefit from just quick, unsteady glimpses here and there.

TZD’s story is pretty generic. London has been overrun by the infected. A virus that originated in the less developed countries has proven to be too much for the scientific community. At the beginning of the movie, you hear news reports of similar incidents happening in the United States. This happens to be the best part of the movie for me. The news reports were done rather convincingly. From there, we get to meet the first batch of survivors, a documentary crew, as they’re on their way to an interview in the outskirts of London. This part of the movie built so much tension but failed to deliver on much of anything. When zombies finally appear, you only get to see them in quick camera jumps.

I did like the different points of views that each set of hand-held camera wielding groups gets to show (you get three in total, all inter-connected by something) in TZD. That, and the time jumps from day one of the outbreak to one month after it happens, and back and forth. You get to see survivors looking for supplies and dealing with the zombies and also how this epidemic changes those left behind . . . for the worse.

A little bit of a gripe with the cover art: if you pick this up, don’t expect to see that in the movie at all. I don’t remember seeing one single ruined city building (most of the movie takes place in the country-side) and there isn’t a Vin Diesel look-a-like laying down some awesome pwn-age on a group of shambling undead. That never happens, and I kind of wish it did. That was the third and final reason I picked up this movie.

The TZD DVD comes with a decent (a recurring theme with this movie huh?) amount of extras for those into that sort of stuff. None of which I’ve seen as of yet, so I can’t comment much on that. You get a commentary with the writers and director and a separate commentary with the cast of the film. You also get a making of documentary (hopefully with a much more steady hand than the one in the movie), some deleted scenes and trailers.

I think zombie completists will get a kick out of this one. For the most part, it’s kind of bland with a few sprinklings of “holy fuck” thrown in for good measure. But, when horror is on the screen, and viewable, it’s a truly horrible sight. Those with only a passing fondness or affinity for the shambling undead might not like it, due to it not being the best zombie film ever made. While I think the praise for this movie is extremely exaggerated, it’s still a decent flick you might want to rent if you’re really into zombies. But, that’s just my opinion. Enjoy at your own risk.

- Visit Jaime at Blogs Are For Wusses

Ill Presidente - Prehistoric Planet

Prehistoric Planet
Ill Presidente
2009 Panic in Pod Six!

Check out our second release from Panic in Pod Six! by Ill Presidente, Prehistoric Planet. It's available on Amazon.com, and you can stream most or all of the tracks over at Ill Presidente's place.

And if you're into drum and bass, All-City Arson's single is coming soon. You can already stream both the tracks over at All-City Arson's place.
Side A: Rootkit v1.2
Side B: Port Scanner v1.2

Satan's Children (1975) Review

I've had Satan's Children sitting on a DVD in my collection for a couple years now and I've been meaning to review it. Now that I've watched it, I don't know quite what to say. It's a movie... sort of. It's one of those that truly feels like punishment when you watch it. Scenes drag aimlessly along with incoherent onscreen action and huge gaps of painful silence between nonsensical lines of dialogue. In the first ten minutes of the runtime we are introduced to the main character, Bobby, and we learn that he doesn't like yard work. There's something very non-sinister about grass clippings. I hope he likes Satan! Cause that bammer his bitchy sister finds in his room isn't going to help him cope with his meaningless existence.

The story drags, and drags, and drags... then Bobby gets raped and ditched at a hippy-ish Satanist commune. Wtf? I wasn't really surprised to see Satan's Children had dirt poor production values and D grade acting. I was surprised, though, to see that there is actually some stuff in the plot to write home about. Basically, Bobby finds a reason for life (getting laid by crazy devil worshipping broads) in the protective arms of Satan. But to prove his worth to the commune he escapes, kills his stepdad, rapes and kidnaps his sister, kills the gang of guys who raped him, and brings their severed heads back to the commune as an offering to the great Unwashed One. The whole thing ends with his sister getting crucified outside the compound. I'm not saying that any of this was particularly interesting or well executed. Dead air, butcher shop editing, and meaningless shot composition abound throughout. But hey, at least they tried. And there are definitely some laughs along the way (such as the infamous quicksand/oatmeal scene).

Satan's Children can be found as the second flick on Something Weird's double feature DVD release of it and Asylum of Satan. The two movies have absolutely nothing to do with each other, except for the word Satan in the title. Still, I understand why Satan's Children would have been released like this. It has absolutely no place occupying a DVD on its own. Besides the original premiere, I doubt this film was ever shown in a theater by itself. It would have been billed as the third feature of a midnight drive-in discount movie blowout. If you want to know more about it check out the link at the bottom to the ridiculously long-winded retelling of the Making of Satan's Children, written by the Assistant Camera Op (of all people). Apparently it was self-funded and filmed by the employees at a CBS affiliate TV station operating out of Tampa Bay, Florida. It's actually a lot more entertaining than watching the movie itself - even though the humor is intentional.

- The Making of Satan's Children by Marc Wielage

Dragon Warrior (NES 1989) Dungeon Maps

Reposted from August 2006

Here's some maps of the dungeons in Dragon Warrior (aka Dragon Quest) for NES. These are direct from the back of the poster that came with the deluxe Dragon Warrior package that came with the Nintendo Power subscription back in the day. Go ahead and click on the images to see high-resolution versions. And download these shits while you're at it. I'd print them even.

Shatterhand (NES 1991) Game Genie Codes

aka Tokkyuu Shirei Solbrain 特救指令 ソルブレイン

AEVNAIZA - Start with 1 life
IEVNAIZA - Start with 6 lives
AEVNAIZE - Start with 9 lives
GENNZSAA - Play with less energy
AAKKSPPA - Power-ups don't use up gold
AXXAZZGO - Double the value of big coins
ZEXAZZGO - Big coins only worth 1/2
YEEAYZIE - Triple the value of small coins

Sources: GameGenie.com, Wikipedia

Re-Penetrator (2004) Review

Alright, Google, go ahead and flag this post as inappropriate content. There’s really no way around it. There are certain words that I must use to accurately capture the essence of Re-Penetrator which will inevitably make this article not safe for work, or minors, or anyone with an overly sensitive moral compass – certain words such as vaginal injection, bloody cock, and shitty zombie porno. Special emphasis should be placed on those last three words. Re-Penetrator is the quintessential shitty zombie porno (you could have probably guessed by the title). Released on BurningAngel.com for Halloween 2004, Re-Penetrator took home the AVN award for most outrageous sex scene. I couldn’t say which scene exactly took home the prize. The 21 minute runtime of Re-Penetrator essentially consists of a single extended sex scene involving a parody version of Herbert West, the Re-Animator, and a random naked zombie wench. It boasts everything you would think a porno parody of a zombie film might have – dollar-store costumes, random horror themed props, a hospital bed, and a shit load of (very) fake blood.

There’s a long list of weird shit that I’m into, but I gotta say, sex mixed with blood is not on the list. I think HP Lovecraft would agree with me. The only real correlation between Re-Penetrator and Re-Animator (the movie, not Lovecraft’s story) is the presence of the glowing green re-agent in a syringe at the start. Then the sex starts, and the blood flows, and everything goes to hell. Re-Penetrator is a prime example of a piece of video you can’t un-watch, no matter how hard you try. One thing I will say for it – it definitely rid me of any curiosity I had as to what zombie porn might look like. Gross.

- Re-Penetrator Official Website

Otto; or, Up With Dead People (2008) Review

So, this is what the zombie genre has come to? I’ve watched many zombie movies, and I’ve seen zombies act out many things considered outré by polite society. I’ve seen zombies tear through intestines, crush skulls, and make people vomit blood. I’ve seen zombies rape each other, bite off tits, and even drink diet soda. But until this movie, I had never seen a zombie take part in explicit homosexual intercourse. That’s right. Gay zombie sex. When I first read about Otto; or Up With Dead People, I read about the number of people that had walked out of the screening at Sundance. My curiosity piqued, I read through the synopsis and saw, “Meanwhile, Medea is still trying to finish Up with Dead People, the epic political-porno-zombie movie that she has been working on for years.”. I should have just left it at that. But, stupid me, I thought to myself, “Really? Gay zombie sex? Is that actually possible?” Apparently not only is gay zombie sex possible, but so is a full-on gay zombie orgy. The genre that holds itself to no limit of morality or integrity has finally crossed that boundary. And we can all blame Bruce LaBruce – the so-called writer/director.

First thing I did when I loaded up my illicit copy of the film was skip to a random point toward the end to see what I was getting myself into. Bam. Twenty naked men writhing all over each other. So, after puking in my mouth a little bit, I skipped back a bit to see if I had been completely duped, or if there was anything even remotely zombie-related in Otto. Sure enough, the main character is an Emo-assed zombie with a shitty European accent and a hunger for flesh – and dick. I hit the skip button a couple more times, saw a lot of aimless walking with voice-over, some things that don’t really warrant repeating, and called it a day. There’s no way I’m going to sit through a feature length gay porn just because the main character is undead. The Silver Screen Kid has standards – sort of. Now I know what it takes to have the most walk-outs of any film at Sundance. It takes violent gay zombie porn. Readers beware.

- Otto; or, Up With Dead People on Wikipedia

Lifeforce (1985) Review

Review by Sole Controller



So straight off, I had a hell of a time figuring out whether the creatures in Lifeforce were vampires or zombies. Either way, the movie wasn't able to hold my attention well. That sucks considering the screenplay was written by Dan O'Bannon (Dark Star, Return of the Living Dead). While I was looking that up, I noticed that it's adapted from a book called Space Vampires. But there is definitely a zombie scene at the end of the movie. To classify it as a zombie movie is a stretch though. To be more specific, the zombies are just energy collectors for the vampires. Maybe if the first 2/3 of the movie was condensed down, and the zombies got featured a bit more, I'd be less reluctant to recommend this movie. Overall, it wasn't a terrible movie, but I definitely wouldn't buy it or play it for friends. It would, however, make a fantastic late-night cable movie.

- Lifeforce on Wikipedia
- Dan O'Bannon on Wikipedia