Commando is basically the most awesome movie ever made. I doubt the filmmakers behind-the-scenes realized the impact this movie was about to have on the world. Commando helped make an entire generation of American children and adolescents fall in love with blatantly unmotivated violence and profanity. Back when this movie was in theaters, the hottest toys on the block were from RoboCop, Rambo, and Commando (all rated R movies, mind you - gotta love the 80s). Without Commando, and movies like the ones just mentioned, I wouldn't be the wonderfully disturbed person I am today. I just want to thank Mark L Lester for imparting his directorial vision into Commando, ensuring that the dialog scenes would get cut and the explosions would remain. And I'd like to thank Jeph Loeb, Matthew Wiseman, and Steve E de Souza for never giving up on their idea for a story in which a retired Army commando's daughter gets kidnapped, forcing him to kill until every bad guy is dead. Somewhere... somehow... someone's going to pay!
Thank you, Arnold Schwarzenegger, for showing us that high-powered, steroid-addled freaks don't have to bow down to terrorist demands. If only every American citizen in our country today could be as head-strong and short on explanation as John Matrix. The whole role, the whole movie, screams "Future-Governor-of-California". The way he can walk, unarmed, up to a group of goons holding automatic rifles and promptly had each of them their asses - it just really inspires confidence in how he might deal with the economy or border issues.
All I'm trying to say is this: Commando is the best action movie ever made. It's as if the writers and director (listed above) were admitting that story and character have no bearing on a good shoot-em-up. At one point Rae Dawn Chong (playing a hilariously unnecessary character) asks Arnold if he's going to explain why she was shot at, kidnapped, and almost killed. Arnold replies quite elegantly, "No." The Analog Medium team, in hopes of putting some real life numbers behind the awesomeness of this movie, did an unofficial kill count while re-watching it. 101 kills in all. That number was not rounded up in any way. 101 murders displayed on screen in only an hour-and-a-half. There just wasn't enough time to get any insightful dialog in there. Only enough time for the most awesome of one-liners, including everyone's favorite: "Remember when I promised to kill you last? I lied."
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