ANALOG MEDIUM MARCH 2007

ANALOG MEDIUM MARCH 2007

Encyclopedia Zombica v2.0
Notes from the Sprawl
DEATH BY VIDEO
Network Gaming Night at Pod Six
World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War
Fix Your Scratched Disks With Rain-X
Brent Simon - Seven of Nine
Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF The Movie) April 13, 2007
Transformers: The Movie - The Quintessons

Consumer Fun Time - Far East Flea Market Liquidation Center
Consumer Fun Time - China Bazaar Discount Imports

Smash TV (NES 1991) Review and Game Genie Codes

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) Review
Undead (2003) Review
Resident Evil (2002) Review
Versus (2000) Review
Alien Dead (1980) Review
The Astro-Zombies (1968) Review

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) Review

This sequel to the adaptation of the video game based on a popular movie genre left much to be desired. Resident Evil: Apocalypse was barely a zombie flick at all. There were plenty of rotters at the start, but by the end it was more like Frankenstein meets The Matrix. The plot revolved around the “Nemesis” project, a cutting edge bio-weapon developed by Umbrella Corporation. It was basically Andre the Giant with a rocket launcher and a machine gun. Actually, it was nowhere near as cool as what I just said. Andre had soul, baby. This movie definitely didn’t.



I can’t forgive anyone for any part of this movie. Usually I like to give credit to the worst movies for some saving grace they display on screen. This movie had none. It did have clichÈ action movie one-liners and plenty of explosions. Not to mention the digital wire-frame stunt doubles. What I can’t understand is why it displayed less nudity than the first movie. Apocalypse was a retarded action flick to the nth degree and they didn’t even sprinkle in gratuitous nudity. I guess you see Milla Jovavich’s nipples for a quick second, but that shot was anything but hot. I especially have beef with this movie when I think about Resident Evil 2, possibly one of the best games ever made. If they had made any effort to translate it to the screen I would have been on board. Instead, they did the Hollywood thing. They sucked eggs.

World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War

It’s hard to express how awesome this book is using my limited vocabulary. Maybe if I could speak Klingon I could pick an appropriate word to describe how hard it pwns. World War Z, written by legendary filmmaker Mel Brooks’ son Max, instantly became one of my top 10 favorite books ever read. It joined the ranks of the greats; including, but not limited to, The Hobbit, Stranger in a Strange Land, and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It was so freakin’ intense that I wouldn’t sit down to read it unless I knew I could commit to at least 50 pages. I say all of this as a fan of zombies, a fan of fantasy, and a fan of good literature in general. If you like well written fiction in any form, you will enjoy this book.

Max Brooks wrote it from the perspective of a survivor of the decade long Zombie War who was given an assignment to write a comprehensive report detailing the hard facts of the worldwide crisis. World War Z is comprised of the interview material that was edited out of his official report for containing too much of the “human” element of the tragedy. Chapter upon chapter is divided into individual interview sessions in which different survivors recount their own experiences during the ordeal. The stories come from all walks of life and all corners of the globe. It was so well researched that footnotes were necessary to understand the local terminology and industry jargon sprinkled throughout the transcribed dialogue. In short, it was freakin’ epic.

The book was released last Fall, but before it even hit the shelves the movie rights had been optioned by Paramount Pictures with Brad Pitt’s production company Plan B attached to produce. If money is any indication of quality (which it often isn’t) you would have to assume Paramount thought the story was amazing, because they spent an amount of money in the “high six figure range” just to buy the rights to make the movie. What that amount of money means is that there is virtually no chance this movie will get lost in the corporate machinery of the pre-production process. Straight from Max’s brain to a theatre near you.

Apparently J Michael Straczynski, the creator of Babylon 5, is deep into the process of writing draft one of the script. I really don’t envy the guy. The book is so epic in its scope that it either has the potential to be one of the greatest zombie films ever made, or to be one of the hugest blunders Hollywood has ever committed. I think Straczynski might be apt for the challenge, however. Some of my fears of a terrible screen adaptation were assuaged by Straczynski himself when he said, “I'm being very faithful to the book, letter by letter when I can, and I'm on about page 70 right now and I'm really happy with it. I'm really pleased with it actually, so if that goes well we might go into production on that one." From what I can tell this book is getting the royal treatment, which it more than deserves. You better believe that I’m going to be watching these clowns to make sure they don’t fuck it up. They don’t call me The Silver Screen Kid for nothing.

Versus (2000) Review

Watching Versus felt like watching a bunch of high school kids try to make a zombie movie. By that I mean a bunch of high school kids who have seen the Matrix one too many times. The main character in Versus is a total rip off of Neo, but wasn't even as good of an actor as Keanu Reeves. Scene after scene, shot after shot, it was as if the director was jerking off behind the camera and was too busy to notice that his movie sucked. In every little move or wink into the camera you could see what the cast and crew were thinking. “OMG! We’re making zombies wire-fight and shoot guns. We are so fucking cool.” Gimme a break.

I give this movie credit for trying to do a mixed genre zombie action flick, but the execution was so piss poor that it was painfully difficult to watch the damn thing. The actors were somewhere between C-grade action hero and stunt man. Each did his own stunts so the producers wouldn't have to pay two people to play the character. As you might expect, the acting seemed like meat-headed stand-ins trying to play tough and the stunts looked like a brave-but-foolish amateur coordinated them. The action was tacky and predictable and the story was worse.



For some reason Versus has accumulated a cult following of fans. Why any fan of the genre would enjoy this piece of crap is beyond me. While watching it Mark and I had to force ourselves to stop talking shit about it because every new shot would elicit mocking comments. Aside from the atrocious production quality, this movie lost major points as soon as a zombie ran in firing a handgun. The zombies fired guns, wielded weapons, and could jump kick. Correct me if I’m wrong, but if I was dead for a hundred years then woke up in the Forest of Resurrection in front of some doosh bag in a leather trench coat, the last thing I would want to do is a 360-butterfly jump kick. I didn't believe it or enjoy it for a second.

DEATH BY VIDEO

DEATH BY VIDEO is Master Blasphemy's latest creation. He's a a confirmed madman. He's posting all his favorite videos from various sources including, but not limited to, YouTube and Google Video. There's over a hundred videos after the first month (I don't know how he found them all). There's even a few feature-length movies and documentaries, like Plan 9 From Outer Space and Style Wars. He updates it sporadically, but you'll want to check it pretty regularly if he keeps up at the pace he's set.

Network Gaming Night at Pod Six

The Silver Screen Kid and Master Kush smashing galactic imperialism

We had 2 Playstations going with 2 copies of Battlefront on 2 TVs, both on the ethernet router. Then it was multiplayer mayhem on the internet map servers. We're going to work on expanding the capabilities of the system, too. More TVs! More Playstations! More clean pants!

Fix Your Scratched Disks With Rain-X

After a sudden impulse to play a few rounds of Star Wars Battlefront 1 online, I found that either the disk or the PS2 was not cooperating. I popped the disk out, gave it a glance and saw that it was in nearly perfect condition. I gave it a second try and it worked…. It took a little while to load up, and the music track seemed to be missing, at that point I figured the disk was messed or somehow my PS2 was screwed up. After examining the disk a second time I came to the same conclusion that the disk was just fine. I figured I'd try a different game to see if my PS2 was the problem. I slapped GTA in, and everything was a go, loaded just fine, everything worked as it was supposed to. So I sat there looking at my Battlefront disk, there were a few light scratches, nothing that would keep the game from operating, I figured the disk needed a cleaning. I have a Skip Doctor scratch cleaner witch I have used on audio CDs but I wasn't prepared to use it on a PS2 game. I sat there on my couch for a minute trying to come up with a solution to my dilemma when I remembered something I had read on some random web sight when I was researching snowboard/ ski waxes. I read some people had used a quick coat of Rain-X for a cheap wax that would last a few runs. I then googled alternative uses for Rain-X, I found some guy's Blog that said he had found some new interesting uses for the polymer. He wrote something along the lines of "besides fixing scratched CDs I've found some new uses for Rain- X". His other uses were out there. He said he bathed in the stuff and that dirt and grime would just bead off his skin.

Anyhow the important part was my scratched disk, and of course I have Rain-X lying around. I must have about 10 coats of it on my windshield, the stuff is a must for the winter in California, especially with all the trips I make up to Lake Tahoe. So I poured some on to my Battle Front disk, let it sit for a few minutes, than buffed it out with a dirty sock. And then for the test…. popped it in and everything was a go. It loaded up quickly, sound & music were working, I was shootin' em' up in no time. I figure Rain-X is a safe way to fix any CD, form DVDs to those old black PSI disks. Rain-X basically is a plastic polymer that is intended to fill the tiny microscopic pits and scratches on car windows so that water beads and rolls of the surface. Rain-X may be the solution for your burnt disk problems since it seems they get scratched and pitted easily. Try it out for your self.

- Master Kush

Notes from the Sprawl

There's never enough of anything on this planet
by Maxwell Rygiol from Notes from the Sprawl

Max recently finished the first stage of an ongoing photography project. He's imagined a post-apocalyptic, dystopian future. It's inspired partially by William Gibson's books (at least the name). He created a scrapbook using original and appropriated images, from the perspective of a character in this alternate reality. Max scanned and posted the images to a new blog where you can check out all the pages and see what life's like in the sprawl.

Consumer Fun Time - China Bazaar Discount Imports

China Bazaar Discount Imports
667 Grant Ave., San Francisco, CA 94108
(415) 391-6369

Immediately upon walking into China Bazaar, we knew we had found something unique. The place is less a store and more a three-story stack of hidden delights. The ground floor is more or less the standard import store set-up. The aisles are far too cramped, making for some awkward glances from old Asian ladies while you try to squeeze through. It’s slightly claustrophobic, but that just means the owners of the store have attempted to load the place to the brim with cheap-o import goodness. And they have succeeded.

From the ground floor you can make your way to the back and take a flight of stairs either into the basement or up to the second floor. The basement has its own merits, with a ton of Asian-esque home decorations and table settings, but the second floor is where it’s at. Chock full of import toys!!1 They have everything from dancing robots to bobble heads to plastic zombies. That’s right, zombies. China Bazaar scored a million points right there.

They have a load of stuff in the $1-$4 range, but some of the cheap-o goodness wasn’t all that cheap-o. Some of the various play sets and things skyrocketed into the $15-$45 range. Also, the “import” nature of some of the toys was highly dubious. Mark ended up buying a big bag of plastic space men vs. aliens, which turned out to be manufactured in Seattle, Washington. All in all, though, there was a multitude of geeking to be done in that place. I’ll go back to China Bazaar Discount Imports if only for the second floor, and maybe the Feng Shui books in the basement.

Review by ConsumerBot 5000

Smash TV (NES 1991) Review and Game Genie Codes

Smash TV is a great game. You play as a contestant in a gladiator-style TV gameshow. You have to kill hordes of enemies, all while competing for amazing cash prizes. I love blasting a bunch of dudes with the spread gun and then getting "A Brand New Toaster!" for my troubles. Master Kush and I noticed quickly that codes would help us crush the hordes. With Game Genie codes in place, Smash TV becomes all about competing against your friends for the most cash and prizes. Also note that this game was ported from Arcade to many systems besides NES. We just love NES here at Analog Medium.

Game Genie Codes:
UIVYGXVS - Infinite lives
OPNXVTTE - More grenades
OXXUUYVS - Infinite grenades
EAOZPZEY - Touch and kill most enemies

Transformers: The Movie - The Quintessons

Consumer Fun Time - Far East Flea Market Liquidation Center

Far East Flea Market Liquidation Center
729 Grant Ave., San Francisco, CA 94108
(415) 989-8588

Far East Flea Market is like the Home Depot of import stores. The flow is great, the space is massive, and the organization is confusing as hell. Clothes, jewelry, statues, dishware, and toys all reside within a stone’s throw of each other. The aisles are packed to the ceiling; reminiscent of the warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Aisle upon aisle is packed with juicy wonderment. For example, in the back left corner of the store you can find an impressive collection of antique porcelain erotic statues (if you are so inclined).

The best part of this, and any, import store was the toys. It was like Toys R Us’s illegitimate Chinese neighbor, or something. There were alien squeeze toys, glow-in-the-dark monster mucus, and Felix the Cat vinyl action figures. On the far right wall you can find their collection of commemorative tin lunch boxes. However, the creme de nedite was a little toy set I saw called “Horrified B-Movie Victims”. The packaging featured a speech bubble showing a victim yelling “It’s Alive” and the sales pitch proclaimed “You add the monster.” As soon as I have more than twenty dollars to my name I’m all over that. Far East Flea Market Liquidation Center will definitely remain a favorite of my mine for years to come.

- Review by ConsumerBot 5000

The Astro-Zombies (1968) Review

Last night I learned a new equation. It went something like, "Astro + Zombies = Freakin' Awesome". Who said zombie movies never taught anyone anything? 1969 was a magical year. The Summer of Love was in full swing, and The Astro-Zombies made its debut in theatres (a couple theatres). This movie was freakin' genius. It was everything I wanted and nothing I didn't. Zombies, mad scientists, Igor, Mexican secret agents, toy robots, and naked boobs. Glorious naked boobs. An extended nude dance sequence featuring a pair of bongos and a buxom broad coated in body paint was thrown into the zombie / sci-fi madness. Score one for this movie.

Astro-Zombies more closely resembles a 1950’s B sci-fi extravaganza than a zombie film. Which is exactly why I liked it. I've never seen anything quite like it. I don’t think I could really sum it up in one sentence. A mad scientist perfected a method of transmitting thought energy, which he uses to imbue life into synthetic zombie men meant for deep space travel. The only snag, the scientist needs living brains in order to keep the zombies going. It seems like it would work, in theory, unless the prototype zombie got connected to a demented brain salvaged from a mental patient. The result, a demented astro zombie perpetrating mutilation murders. Booyah.



Ted V. Mikels is the beautiful individual responsible for gracing the world with this off beat gem. He wrote, directed, and produced it. Judging by the collective volume of breasts displayed by the movie, Ted was on to something. The same guy went on to make Blood Orgy of the She-Devils in 1972. I gotta get my hands on that action. If it was anything like Astro-Zombies, I know I won’t be disappointed.

Resident Evil (2002) Review

When has there ever been a good video-game-to-movie adaptation? Why did you think Resident Evil would be any different? I’m a huge fan of the video games (especially number 2), so you might think that I was disappointed by the movie. On the contrary, I knew the movie would suck and that’s exactly what it did. I see Resident Evil as a perfect example of what’s wrong with Hollywood today. They took a good idea with tons of source material then “re-tooled” the whole thing for half a decade. Then they pooped out this movie. The games were suspenseful, moody, and exciting. The movie had big silver machinery and some zombies.



The treatment of the zombies didn't impress me at all. Nothing new was contributed to the zombie-flick cannon. The whole thing would have probably been a lot more enjoyable if those Hollywood fart knockers had stuck with their first choice to write and direct it, George A Romero. I’m not saying the dialogue would have been any better. I guarantee, though, it wouldn't have taken 45 minutes for the first zombie to appear on screen. In the game, the first zombie pops up within 5 minutes. C'mon people. By the way, while conversing with my old buddy Wikipedia, I found a link to the full text version of Romero’s original script. I guess I’m not enough of a nerd to read it, but please feel free. Tell them the Kid sent ya.

Resident Evil had so much potential and they pissed it away. I doubt I’m the only fan out there who thinks so. Even the ridiculously hot Milla Jovavich couldn't save this dismal affair. At the end of the countless years of turmoil this movie experienced in the production process, it all came out looking like an HBO original movie. The first half doesn't explain the plot, or who the characters are even. I guess it was supposed to make the audience just as confused as the amnesiacs on screen. Really it just made me wonder why I should give a damn.

Encyclopedia Zombica v2.0

This is the NEW and IMPROVED Encyclopedia Zombica. Analog Medium is questing to review and rate every zombie movie ever made. We feel that once we have a comprehensive collection we can begin to discuss even finer points of the zombie genre. The Silver Screen Kid is the big boss zombie master, with 50+ reviews under his belt. Each review comes with a 2-sentence review, a full page review with screenshots, and a super-scientific Universal Zombie Movie Rating System (UZMRS). Rather than rating each movie 1-10 with ten being the best and 1 being the worst, we've devised a points system that awards the movie points based on our super-scientific criteria. We added 10 new movies to the list this time. You can find a list of revisions on this new version at the bottom. - [BigKilla]

- 28 Days Later (2002) - A disease called Rage is released upon the general public in England and the few survivors left alive are no better off. I'll applaud the effort to bring a zombie epic to life in the modern age, but this one missed the boat. - 6/10 - [SSK]

- Alien Dead (1980) - A comet that crash landed in a backwater swamp created a race of zombies that the hick locals go to hunt thinking that they're alligators. Fans of shitty zombie films wont even enjoy this stinker. - 0/10 - [SSK]

- Army of Darkness (1993) - Ash, the hero of the Evil Dead movies, is transported back in time to the Dark Ages where he must once again do battle with undead creatures raised by the Book of the Dead. Hilarious and extreme, it is a fitting third chapter to Sam Raimi's Evil Dead trilogy and boasts a plethora of iconic dialogue and imagery. - 9/10 [SSK]

- The Beyond (1981) - A woman inherits a run-down hotel in New Orleans that just happens to be built on one of the seven gateways to Hell. I love the treatment of zombies and some of the scenes of gore in The Beyond are ingrained in memory, which more than make up for the slow scenes. - 7/10 [SSK]

- Beyond Re-Animator (2003) - The third installment of the Re-Animator trilogy in which Herbert West, the Re-Animator, is serving a prison sentence and gets another chance to continue with his ghoulish experiments using his fellow inmates as guinea pigs. The Re-Animator trilogy has two great movies, and this is definitely not one of them. - 5/10 [SSK]

- Bio Zombie (1998) - Hong Kong's answer to Dawn of the Dead. The best part is when one of the main characters starts crying about his dead friend and his dead friend breaks through a window and eats the baby. - ?/10 [MR]

- The Bowery at Midnight (1942) - Bela Lugosi stars as a unique villain, a university professor who leads a triple life, running a soup kitchen in the Bowery and recruiting transients as disposable ratchet men to pull bank heists. A gem when compared to Lugosi's work late in his career, this low budget masterpiece is a truly original mix of crime noir and zombie flick. - 4/10 [SSK]

- Bride of Re-Animator (1990) - This sequel to The Re-Animator features the same lead characters, Dr. Cain and Dr. West (The Re-Animator), after med school as they continue their experiments on the dead which ultimately lead to the construction of a Frankenstein-esque creation cobbled together from pieces of women cadavers. One of the best sequels of the entire horror genre, Bride of Re-Animator has excellent visual effects and keeps the spirit of the original film completely in tact. - 10/10 [SSK]

- Burial Ground aka The Nights of Terror (1981) - A group of poorly dubbed Italian socialites settle in to their private villa for a vacation only to find that their friend, the professor, has unleashed a horde of zombies from the Etruscan ruins located below the property. Although the gore and make-up effects are heroic for a low-budget foreign affair, the zombies are unbelievable at best and the plot meanders to the point of stupidity. - 5/10 [SSK]

- Cemetery Man aka. Dellamorte Dellamore (1994) - A small graveyard in Italy has a problem with the corpses rising from the graves shortly after they're buried. This is one of the freshest takes on the zombie genre that we've seen. - 10/10 [MR]

- City of the Living Dead (1980) - The gates of hell will open on All Saint's Day if a psychic and a reporter from New York can't stop an undead priest in time. My personal favorite from zombie-maestro Lucio Fulci, City of the Living Dead doesn't disappoint in any aspect of the film, gore or otherwise. - 7/10 [SSK]

- Creepshow (1982) - George Romero directed and Stephen King wrote this collection of five short horror stories based on an old series of EC comics, also called Creepshow. The entire movie is a powerhouse and offers some great zombie scenes in two of the stories: Father's Day and Something To Tide You Over. - 10/10 [SSK]

- Dawn of the Dead (1978) - The first official sequel to Romero's Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead starts in the midst of widespread zombie infestation as a group of survivors hold up inside a shopping mall using it as a fortress, but it eventually becomes their prison. Perhaps the greatest zombie movie ever made, Dawn of the Dead set the standard for independent horror/gore and has yet to be matched. - 10/10 [SSK]

- Dawn of the Dead (2004) - In the midst of widespread zombie infestation a group of survivors holds up in a shopping mall but eventually becomes restless and attempts escape by driving armored shuttle buses to the nearest dock. This high profile remake lacks all of the heart and soul of the original low-budget masterpiece, reducing the plot to a series of action film cliches. - 6/10 [SSK]

- Day of the Dead (1985) - The third installment of George A. Romero's zombie chronicles, Day of the Dead depicts an encampment of soldiers and scientists who are on the verge of civil war regarding the best way to deal with their current predicament. Although many hold the opposite opinion, and despite impressive make-up effects, I see this as the weakest of Romero's zombie films. - 5/10 [SSK]

- Dead Alive a.k.a. Braindead (1992) - One of Peter Jackson's earliest films, Dead Alive features indestructible zombies, a Sumatran rat monkey, and a creepy dude that keeps all the zombies alive in his basement. This is maybe the goriest zombie movie I've ever seen and it features one of the best anti-zombie weapons ever, the lawnmower. - 9/10 [BK]

- Demons a.k.a. Demoni (1985) - Produced by legendary Dario Argento, Demons follows a group of people watching a zombie flick in a theater when the demonic zombies come to life in the theater around them. Any of fan of the genre who hasn't seen this one needs to get on it. - 9/10 [SSK]

- Demons 2 a.k.a. Demoni 2 (1986) - The producer/director team from the first film return to bring you the same style of Demons, this time coming to life in an apartment building through the television set. Almost as good as the original, it had me all the way until the disappointing ending. - 6/10 [SSK]

- Diary of the Dead (2008) - Slated for 2007 or 2008, Diary of the Dead will mark the fifth chapter in George A. Romero's zombie chronicles and will feature a group of film students making a mummy movie who inevitably get attacked by the first wave of Romero-zombies. It sounds like Romero came up with a winner this time, going back to his indy movie nature and making some impressive stylistic choices. - ?/10 [SSK]

- Doom (2005) - A roughneck group of Marines is sent to investigate a crisis on a Martian research facility where they find an experimental biological serum is turning people into zombies, and then monsters. Doom does a great job of staying true to the spirit of the game and has excellent horror-inspired action. - 8/10 [SSK]

- The Evil Dead (1981) - A group of kids drive into the middle of nowhere for a secluded get away at an old cabin where they stumble across the Book of the Dead and unwittingly unleash a series of demonic zombies. Sam Raimi's first feature ever, The Evil Dead is a tour de force of low-budget film making and remains a monumental addition to the horror genre. - 9/10 [SSK]

- Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987) - The slightly-higher budgeted sequel to Sam Raimi's The Evil Dead, The Evil Dead 2 starts with the reluctant hero from the first film, Ash, as he continues to combat the undead brought back by the Book of the Dead which have a new cast of victims to terrorize. This movie is groovy as fuck. - 10/10 [SSK]

- The Film Theory Zombie by The Silver Screen Kid (2006) - The first (of hopefully many) zombie films by Analog Medium's very own Silver Screen Kid. The film is short, but it's treatment of Night of the Living Dead-style zombies and zombie movie cliches is hilarious. - x/10 [MR]

- The Ghost Galleon (1974) - The third of Amando de Ossorio's four-part Blind Dead series, The Ghost Galleon this time places the undead Templar Knights on a ghostly Spanish galleon. This movie was so bad I couldn't force myself to stay awake, no matter how hard I tried. - 2/10 [SSK]

- Hard Rock Zombies (1985) - A van full of glam rockers show up in a backwater town that harbors a family of Nazis and monsters who kill the band members, only to have them come back as zombies bent on performing one last show. Hard Rock Zombies is so awful it's not even funny. - 2/10 [SSK]

- Heavy Metal (1981) - Based on the magazine of the same name, Heavy Metal is an animated anthology of sci-fi vignettes that includes "B-17", a story about a WWII bomber pilot attacked by the zombified corpses of his bomber crew. The gore artwork and zombie drawings are amazing and the whole thing has a truly horrific feel. - 9/10 [SSK]

- The House by the Cemetery (1981) - A scientist takes over a colleague's research and relocates his family to a creepy old house with a zombie living in the basement. Bland and predictable, The House by the Cemetery is a rare low in Italian-horror-auteur Lucio Fulci's career. - 5/10 [SSK]

- I Drink Your Blood (1970) - A group of Satan worshipping hippies get infected with rabies and wreak havoc on a small backwater berg. Someone claimed there were zombies in this movie, but not only are there not zombies, I barely qualify this as a movie. - 3/10 [SSK]

- I Walked With A Zombie (1943) - A young nurse takes over care of a zombified woman living in Haiti where the natives conduct mysterious ceremonies and hand out voodoo curses. The zombie scenes are few and far between as I Walked With A Zombie gets watered down with an overly dramatized love story and blatant racism. - 4/10 [SSK]

- I Was A Zombie For The F.B .I. (1982) - Two FBI agents are investigating strange occurrences at a popular cola bottling company that involve aliens, zombies, escaped convicts, and ZBeast. Made by students at Memphis University film school, I Was A Zombie For The FBI is a text book example of what not to do while making a movie. - 2/10 [SSK]

- Land of the Dead (2005) - The fourth chapter of George A Romero's zombie chronicles, Land of the Dead shows the break down of an enclosed society that consists of military, civilians, and the social elitists living in the ruins of a former metropolitan. This movie had some major flaws but was still a lot more entertaining than its predecessor, Day of the Dead. - 4/10 [SSK]

- The Last Man On Earth (1964) - Based on the book I Am Legend, Vincent Price stars as a lonely survivor in a world filled with zombie-like ghouls which he hunts during the day time. Perhaps the first modern zombie film, there is a lot to love about this movie, including the fact that it inspired George Romero to make Night of the Living Dead. - 7/10 [SSK]

- Night of the Comet (1984) - Radiation from a comet kills most of the Earth's population and turns the rest into zombies, leaving the few survivors to fend for themselves. This is a genius example of low budget film making and a must for fans - 8/10 [SSK]

- Night of the Living Dead (1968) - A small group of people barricade themselves into a remote farmhouse as they struggle to understand and combat the hordes of animated corpses that have suddenly overtaken the area. This movie is great and extremely influential, but it's so hard to watch (due to writing, acting, and budget) that it is far from my favorite zombie flick. - 7/10 [SSK]

- Night of the Living Dead (1990) - A small group of people barricade themselves into a remote farmhouse as they struggle to understand and combat the hordes of animated corpses that have suddenly overtaken the area. Probably the most legitimate remake of all time, this version has some major improvements on the original but failed to wow me with the zombie effects and seems to pander to the audience too much. - 5/10 [SSK]

- The Night of the Seagulls (1975) - The final chapter of Amando de Ossorio's four-part Blind Dead series, The Night of the Seagulls features the same undead Templar Knights, but now they are content to kill only 7 virgins from the local village each year. Even though the boob count increased from the previous Blind Dead blunder, I had to revert to MST3K mode just to survive this snoozer. - 0/10 [SSK]

- Nightmare City (1980) - A nuclear spill turns a plane full of people into zombies and they terrorize the local city. Despite the laughable production quality, I still got some enjoyment out of it (in a pathetic B-movie way). - 6/10 [SSK]

- The Omega Man (1971) - Charleton Heston is the last man on a post-apocalyptic Earth, pitted against vicious mutant zombies who will stop at nothing to destroy him. This is one of Heston's finest performances, and I'd like to see a lot more post-apocalyptic settings for zombies. - 7/10 [BK]

- Pet Sematary (1989) - Stephen King wrote the script for this flick about an Indian burial ground that brings the dead back to life. I liked this movie as a kid, but now I find it cheesy and dated. - 6/10 [SSK]

- Pet Sematary 2 (1992) - The sequel continues in the same house as the first, right next to the Indian burial ground that brings the dead back to life. I personally enjoyed this one a lot more than the original. - 8/10 [SSK]

- The Plague of the Zombies (1966) - A stately British doctor visits a colleague in the English countryside to help investigate a series of mysterious deaths and finds zombiism to be the culprit. It was impressive and entertaining to see legendary horror film studio Hammer Films' treatment of the zombie genre, complete with top notch production values. - 9/10 [SSK]

- Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959) - A race of aliens brings the dead back to life in an attempt to take over Earth. Directed by the infamous Ed Wood, and touted as the worst movie ever, Plan 9 From Outer Space falls into the category of “so bad it’s good”. - 3/10 [SSK]

- Re-Animator (1985) - Based on H.P. Lovecraft's short story, Re-Animator tells the story of Herbert West, a med student who enlists the help of a fellow student to conduct illegal tests involving a chemical re-agent that brings the dead back to life. This is truly one of the monumental greats of the zombie genre. - 10/10 [SSK]

- Redneck Zombies (1986) - A family of rednecks tries to use a barrel of nuclear waste as a still to make moonshine and ends up turning all the local hillbillies into ravenous zombies. Redneck Zombies, a Troma Studio release, is entertaining despite its abysmal film making. - 5/10 [SSK]

- Return of the Blind Dead aka Return of the Evil Dead (1973) - The second of Amando de Ossorio's four-part Blind Dead series, Return of the Evil Dead again depicts undead Templar Knights rising from their tombs, but this time they ride out to terrorize the local village and its inhabitants. In many ways an improvement on the first movie, this chapter of the series held my attention all the way until the very end, where it all fell apart. - 5/10 [SSK]

- Return of the Living Dead (1985) - This is one of the bastard children of Night of the Living Dead, complete with indestructible zombies and those great zombies that want "BRAAIIINNSSS." This is a horror-comedy, but it's version of zombies is truly scary, and the movie is enjoyable from beginning to end. - 10/10 [MR]

- Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988) - A young boy growing up in the suburbs witnesses the release of a new zombie epidemic when the neighborhood punks find a canned zombie and release the deadly chemical Trioxin into the local cemetery. An awesome horror-comedy and an appropriate sequel, Return of the Living Dead Part 2 is a must for zombie fans. - 8/10 [SSK]

- Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993) - When the son of an army officer crashes his motorcycle and kills his girlfriend he takes her to the top secret Trioxin testing facility his dad works for and brings her back from the dead. This movie abandoned the comedy associated with this series and opted for a half baked love story between two whiny punk ass kids who are definitely not worth wasting and hour-and-a-half watching. - 4/10 [SSK]

- Revolt of the Zombies (1936) - A group of French soldiers are sent to Cambodia to find and destroy an ancient zombie-creation ritual but one of the troops usurps the power for his own and raises an army of entranced zombies. Revolt of the Zombies falls tragically short of being either entertaining or memorable. - 3/10 [SSK]

- SARS WARS: Bangkok Zombie Crisis (2004) - In this Thai film, the SARS virus is causing zombiism and only two dudes with swords can save the day. This movie is a laugh riot that must be viewed after consuming large amounts of beer and hash. - 5/10 [BK]

- The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988) - A scientist is enlisted by a pharmaceutical company to go to Haiti and research a compound that is reputed to turn healthy living people into zombies. The Serpent and the Rainbow is chillingly accurate (it's based on the book of the same name that was based on real events) and features amazing hallucinogenic sequences and impressive visual effects. - 8/10 [SSK]

- Shaun of the Dead (2004) - Shaun, a full time loser, and his best bud Ed, an even bigger loser, get thrust into the driver seat of their lives when a zombie epidemic invades London and they are forced to take action to save themselves and their loved ones. One of my favorite zombie flicks and a fresh new comedic take on the genre, Shaun of the Dead is a heroic effort by its director/writer Edgar Wright and its star/writer Simon Pegg. - 10/10 [SSK]

- Teenage Zombies (1959) - A group of four teens discovers an uncharted island on which a mad doctor is manufacturing zombie toxin in hopes of raising an army. Teenage Zombies is officially one of the 50 worst movies EVER made. - 0/10 [SSK]

- Tombs of the Blind Dead (1971) - The first of Amando de Ossorio's four-part Blind Dead series, Tombs of the Blind Dead features undead Templar Knights rising from their tombs to kill an unsuspecting woman which prompts her husband to investigate. Despite low production value and a lack of plot, this movie delivers some memorable zombie attacks and impressive imagery. - 5/10 [SSK]

- Undead (2003) - Aliens invading Earth turn humans into zombies and generally wreak havoc. The pointless story wasn't helped by the terrible execution. - 2/10 [SSK]

- White Zombie (1932) - A young couple show up in Haiti with plans to be married, but their host employs a voodoo practitioner played by Bela Lugosi to put the would-be-bride under the curse of the zombie, putting her into a hypnotized dream state. The first true zombie film ever made, White Zombie is just as good, if not better, than the other classic Hollywood horror from the 1930s. - 8/10 [SSK]

- Zombi Holocaust (1980) - An island society of cannibals has been subjugated by a mad scientist who performs experiments in hopes of making the dead rise from the grave, and only a band of white people from New York can save them. It’s amazing how many aspects of bad film making are incorporated into Zombi Holocaust. - 3/10 [SSK]

- Zombi 2: The Dead Are Among Us AKA Zombie (1979) - Four people travel to a remote island where they find a scientist doing experiments on the walking dead that have recently begun to infest the island. Zombi 2, directed by Lucio Fulci, is probably my favorite Italian zombie movie, which makes it damn close my favorite zombie movie of all time. - 9/10 [SSK]

- Zombi 3 aka Zombie Flesh Eaters 2 (1987) - A chemical that causes zombie-ism is stolen from a top secret test site and inadvertently released on an island, prompting the local military to kill everyone and everything in the area. Zombi 3 is entertaining but lacks the style and focus of its predecessor, probably because direction was abandoned by Lucio Fulci and taken over by Bruno Mattei. - 5/10 [SSK]

- Zombie 4: After Death (1988) - This unlicensed Zombi sequel features a band of mercenaries that gets ambushed by voodoo zombies. This is by far the worst of the series. - 2/10 [SSK]


[Version 2.0 Updates]
- added 10-point ratings to almost every entry, with links to the complete points breakdown
- added 28 Days Later, Alien Dead, Demons, Demons 2, Night of the Comet, Nightmare City, Pet Sematary, Pet Sematary 2, Undead, and Zombie 4.
- fixed some spelling errors
- new introduction

Alien Dead (1980) Review

I can never un-watch Alien Dead. I still can’t believe I sat through the whole thing. I must have some kind of sickness or dementia. Alien Dead is a F-grade zombie flick from 1980. I might have ranked it as D-grade if it was made in 1960, which would be believable based on the production quality. But no, it was 1980. How could such a movie get made in that day in age? The only answer I can come up with is 1980 was the beginning of the cocaine explosion in the US.

Alien Dead’s singular claim to genre-fan infamy is the appearance of Buster Crabbe, the poor soul who played Flash Gordan on the old school serial. By this point he was a senile old man who tended to forget his lines. The funniest part of this pitiful movie is the moments when Crabbe flubbed a line then corrected himself, but the budget was so low they couldn’t re-shoot the scene. So, flubbed lines appear in all their glory.



Something happened while I was watching Alien Dead that I don’t believe I’ve ever experienced before. The first half of the flick lowered my expectations so severely that I was actually impressed when something horrific happened. Don’t get me wrong, the effects and the zombies sucked eggs. But, the fact remains, there were zombies and there were gore effects. Bravo for that. And bravo for the bare breasts shown later in the flick. More zombies and more boobs and I might have actually enjoyed this movie enough to laugh at it.

Undead (2003) Review

Hmmm…. What to say about Undead? I wish I could say only the title sucked. The whole movie sucked so hard, it could have sucked the chrome off a trailer hitch. Which would have been more entertaining to watch. Within 30 seconds of starting I could tell it was a shit storm. I think it took about 3 minutes for Mark and I to stop paying attention completely. It seemed like there wasn’t a single zombie for the first twenty minutes. That might be a gross exaggeration, but it felt like an eternity. The flow of the movie went something like this: “Blah blah blah. Zombies. Blah blah blah. Zombies. Blah blah blah. Aliens. The End”



There wasn’t even an ending to speak of. It just sort of slammed to a halt and the credits rolled. It was like, “What? It’s over? What about the aliens? What about the zombies? Oh wait, who gives a shit.” It was an oddly appropriate movie to have playing while Mark and I worked on some Analog Medium business, though. Stupid enough to not distract, enough zombies and violence to let play through to the end. The one thing I can say to its credit was that it was the perfect amount of stupid to fuel our work on the Encyclopedia Zombica Zine, coming to a newsstand nowhere near you soon.

I have to admit, though, the VFX were not the worst I’ve ever seen. Undead is a perfect example of schlock made in the era of AfterEffects. For those that don’t know, AfterEffects (and programs like it) is designed for the consumer to provide access to pro-quality computer graphics. With AfterEffects and a 3-D modeling program anyone could bust out effects on the level of Spider-Man, or Ghost Rider at least. So some poor soul obvious labored tedious hours on this shit storm for probably no pay. Gotta love computers.