Reviewed by Daniel Jordan
My jaw hurts from last night, my gums are gnawed from the inside, and my balls are blue from the constant sex this morning without ejaculating. As you guessed it, last night I took Ecstasy. Its been awhile since Ive used the drug but nonetheless I feel like a train has ran over my body while someone is holding a lighter under my heart as my eyes burn out of my skull. But as always with my drug use I have certain rituals to make the trip sacred. I have a mix cd with P-Funk, Earth Wind and Fire, and Tricky tunes that I play, and a movie that always intensifies my high at the peak of my psychadellia. This movie is titled "Petey Wheatstraw: The Devils Son in Law" starring Blaxploitation pioneer often cited as "The Creator of Rap" Rudy Ray Moore aka Dolemite. This movie is a superb achievement on all possible levels mixing Horror/Kung Fu/Comedy creating a subgenre of a subgenre. Whether it was the mass consumption of angel dust or the ADD it seems Rudy may have, this is the most random movie ever created.
The movie begins with Petey in the depths of hell, interpreting his own birth. He was born during a great Miami, Florida storm and his birth was more of an exorcism than anything. He comes out of the womb as a fully developed 12 year old boy equipt with a watermelon and loin cloth. Petey was no ordinary boy. From the the moment he took his first breath he could "walk, talk and kick ass". One day as young Petey is walking home with groceries, he is stopped and harrassed by a gang of local boys. A fight breaks out and Petey is jumped. He puts up a good fight but eventually is overpowered untill the fight is broken up by an old wiseman. The wiseman is a Kung Fu guru and vows to train Petey to be the greatest warrior on earth. After extensive training Petey is molded into a black belt killing machine. But young Petey decides that a Kung Fu ninja isnt his only aspiration in life. He confesses to the guru that he dreams of being a famous comedian. His goal is accomplished and he becomes a comedic superstar. He is so famous that rival comedy promoters are losing buisness because of him. After a heated argument with rival promoters Leroy and Skillet, the feud becomes deadly when a hit is put out on Petey. Petey is killed in a drive-by shooting and is greeted by the devil. Petey is given the choice of eternity in heaven, or given his life back to seek revenge under one condition: He must marry the devils only daughter, who is a haggard beast of a woman. Petey decides to make the deal with Lucifer, and Petey is given his life back. The devil gives Petey the special "Magic Stick" which is a cane that can control the world. Revenge is sought on Leroy and Skillet, and Petey starts to develop a power-trip with his Magic Cane, and becomes greedy with it. The Devil becomes annoyed with Petey's antics and demands Petey to return the cane and marry his daughter immediately. To prevent from marrying his daughter Petey must brew up a scheme to outsmart The Devil. The Devil sends his demons to capture Petey and return him to hell. Petey refuses to leave and fights The Demons off with his Magic Stick untill The Devil must personally go to earth for one final showdown with Petey. The Magic Stick has immense powers that even The Devil cannot control, and it appears that Petey defeats The Devil... or did he??
On of a scale from 1 to 5 stars I give this movie 1000000 fucking stars, so if you dont agree with me, just dont be in my presence or you might get fucked up! This movie is a must see for any fan of alternative films. I recommend this movie to anyone who uses Weed, Mushrooms, E, or Acid. Rudy is currently being hospitalized for diabetes and isnt in the best of shape at the moment, he is like 70-something. But every once in a great while he does comedy stand up tours, and I can say that I have had the honor to meet and hang out with this hero of mine.
Daniel Jordan is a musician and a friend of Analog Medium. We met him back in the Bay Area, but now he lives and works in Phoenix Arizona. Check out Daniel Jordan's MySpace page and buy his album, DANIELJORDANISBECOMINGASTRANGER EP (we're buying it). You can also check him out live in Arizona, Iowa, and Minnesota over the next few months. Check out his tour schedule on his page. -[Mark]
